While Listening to an Interview with Ursula K. Le Guin....

I heard the following quote from Hannah Arendt:

“The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the convinced Communist, but people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction (i.e., the reality of experience) and the distinction between true and false (i.e., the standards of thought) no longer exist.”

It took me a couple of listens to truly understand what she was saying (I misinterpreted the use of the word "subject" the first time).

Go back and read it again, I will wait...

I then went on an internet search to learn more about Hannah Arendt and her work. Other quotes from her book The Origins of Totalitarianism (1951):

“Before mass leaders seize the power to fit reality to their lies, their propaganda is marked by its extreme contempt for facts as such, for in their opinion fact depends entirely on the power of man who can fabricate it.”

“Never has our future been more unpredictable, never have we depended so much on political forces that cannot be trusted to follow the rules of common sense and self-interest—forces that look like sheer insanity, if judged by the standards of other centuries. It is as though mankind had divided itself between those who believe in human omnipotence (who think that everything is possible if one knows how to organize masses for it) and those for whom powerlessness has become the major experience of their lives.”

The interview with Ursula. More writings about UKL can be found here and here.

Upon learning of her death yesterday I just sat, stunned, for some time. Then I went home and gathered up all the books I own by her (a stack well over a foot tall) and contemplated their importance to me. I have been a fan of her writing for nearly 40 years, rereading one or another of her books when the times push me to need a particular bit of her wisdom.

Listening to her interview, and the response to the Hannah Arendt quote... it is what we need, now, in this time!

Cinnamon Tahini Cookies and Fun With Diets

Adapted from a recipe found at Sweet Potato Soul.

Cinnamon Tahini Cookies

I followed her recipe pretty closely, adding 1 tsp of vanilla extract (the directions state to add it but it was not listed in the ingredients for the basic cookie) and substituting 1/3 cup pumpkin seeds for the 1/2 cup walnuts (I am allergic). I also used gluten-free quick oats. My cookies took almost twice as long as the recipe stated to be fully baked. I just kept setting the timer in 3 minutes increments and took them out when they were starting to brown at the edges and no longer dented when touched in the middle. I got 9 nearly 2" diameter cookies from the recipe (and yes, I will be looking to double or triple the yield!).

They are not as sweet as you would expect with a 1/4 cup of maple syrup. I happen to really like tahini, maple syrup, cinnamon... well all of the ingredients, so this recipe was a good find. And mixes up in just a few minutes. I am hoping they provide a nice snack for cycling and longer runs.

Why this cookie and not my more traditional chocolate chip oatmeal cookie? I have been working on a lot of dietary changes in the past couple of months due to GI issues I have been coping with for several years. It all culminated with my stomach "quitting" on me during the Superior 100 this past September. After not being able to eat due to nausea and a sense of fullness for 35+ miles, except when sitting still (and not so great then), I ended up dropping/timing out at 77 miles. I had simply run out of fuel for my muscles by that point.  My nutrition plan was very similar to what has worked for me at all my ultras, including when I finished Sawtooth (Superior 100) in 2012. I normally have a pretty good stomach, so was baffled by what happened. And admittedly did not problem solve well on the fly.

I have had food allergies/sensitivities for years, with new allergies to peanuts and tree nuts developing in the past 10 years (and in the past 2-3 months I added sunflower to the list).
I knew there was more at work, had tried informal elimination diets of suspected foods with little success and decided it was time to seek expert help. Lucky for me my coach, Jake Hegge with Trail Transformation also works with a dietitian. Rachel has been awesome and has helped me to identify trigger foods and get those out of my diet, all while working with my existing food allergies/intolerances!

For the past 1-2 months I have been dairy free, peanut and tree nut free, soy free and sunflower free (go grab a packaged item randomly off your shelf, read the label, and note how fun just eliminating those groups of food can be! And remember, dairy includes whey and casein). This also meant being vigilant about not eating any foods that were "processed in a facility that also processes..." any of the above foods. Something I had not been strict about in the past, thinking none of my allergies or intolerances were that severe. When I developed the sunflower allergy I was dismayed to see how many products it is in (goodbye dried fruit) and how many products have a "contains safflower oil and/or ..... oil and/or sunflower oil". Gah!! When being strict about the elimination that ruled out a lot of things I normally would eat.

Just making the above changes decreased the symptoms I had been having for the past 4 or so years by 50-75%. And any flares of my symptoms had me shocked I had put up with them for so long (when you bring the pot of water to boil slowly, the frog hardly notices it's being cooked).

We are moving on to the next step in elimination with a Low FODMAP diet:
 - https://www.monashfodmap.com
 - https://stanfordhealthcare.org/medical-treatments/l/low-fodmap-diet.html)

Hopefully we can identify any other foods that may be contributing to my symptoms. It is hard to say good-bye to garlic (hopefully just for the strict elimination phase) and a few other foods. But it is worth it to feel "normal" again.

A side effect of all the dietary changes has been weight loss. Not something I was looking for, or thought I really needed. I am moving to a model of eating several small meals each day (every couple of hours while awake) vs three main meals with small snacks, in an attempt to stabilize that. Plus, to be honest, I am hungry that often! It has also meant I am eating more meat (venison, chicken, turkey, fish) then I have in 30 years. I had considered myself an "opportunistic carnivore"(generally eating low on the food chain but having meat on occasion) for a decade, after being a lacto-ovo vegetarian for nearly 20 years. But with the current restrictions in what I can eat I needed to add meat back in on a regular basis (Low FODMAP = no legumes).

I hope to have this all sorted out, and a solid nutrition plan in place, by September. Because yes, I did make it into the Superior 100!